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What is your mental state?

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by: 13 OP
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:27pm

What is your mental state?
I have been and still am trying very hard to have a positive outlook on this situation.
I realize that no matter what we are still blessed.
We are healthy. We are together. We have a roof over our head, food, savings. I still have a full time job with benefits.
I know all that.
However, I'm getting tired of this gloomy situation.
Tired of not being able to go to a store and pick out my own stuff. Tired of not being able to go out for dinner. Tired of washing my hands every 5 min and keep people away from my office. Tired of not being able to make any travel plans. Tired of not knowing when I'll get to see DD graduate, see her in her prom dress, do the corsage and boutonnières thing with her boyfriend. Tired of thinking, hearing, seeing anything about COVID-19 and oil prices.
We wanted to build a swimming pool this year, go for a senior trip. Send off DD to college. After yesterday's oil price fall, it's all postponed until who knows when.
I know there are a lot of people in much worse situation than we are. I know that.
I still sometimes get depressed about everything and all I want to do is close the doors and just sleep without a worry in the world.
I don't talk about my feelings to any of my family. I don't want them to feel bad or depress them more than they need to. I feel guilty for feeling this way.
I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading (it's ok if you didn't

)

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Replies:

9
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:33pm

@TXNS_fan : I take comfort in knowing we are all struggling through some of the same issues, alone but together. We are social creatures, and this just goes against our nature. It sucks, but our feelings and thoughts toward this situation are normal and expected. I know DW is really feeling it, she thought she was going back to work and then the bosses cancelled after the latest Abbott updates at that time. All we can do is hang in there, soon enough we will all be throwing out hugs and high-fives again.

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9
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:39pm

I brought my mom some supplies over the weekend, paper goods, bleach, food etc. She had pulled out a fitted sheet and threw it over me so she could give me a hug... I thought it was goofy at first, but I needed that hug more than I thought I did. I never thought I'd see the day I wouldn't be able to share a simple hug with family.

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13
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:41pm

@TXNS_fan :

Leave it up to @ParksideRes to be late to the ADC (AtascocitaDotCom) group hug.

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7
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:43pm

*Edited

TXNS_fan : Leave it up to ParksideRes to be late to the ADC (AtascocitaDotCom) group hug.

@West-Tex : what'd I do this time?

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15
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:45pm

Removed By Request

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13 OP
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:45pm

My mom lives by herself but she was never by herself for longer than 2 days. She'd always have someone over or she'd go visit her siblings, cousins, neighbor. She's been in isolation for over a month now. I FaceTime her every day and she says "It's easier for people with big families. At least they are all together all day long. Here I am, all by myself, days are so long..." it breaks my heart

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11
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:47pm

all I want to do is close the doors and just sleep without a worry in the world.

@TXNS_fan : For a brief wonderful couple of seconds after I wake up, I don't remember what's going on. Then I remember. I can deal with the inconveniences that this pandemic brings. I shopped curbside before this, I don't like to shop anyway, we rarely went out to eat, and we are all good hanging out around the house. DH has his job for now...(oil & gas) and is working from home. DD is a self-motivated student who is continuing to do a great job with schoolwork, and she's adjusting well. What stresses me is that my dad's cancer is back and he's going through treatment, for the third time, and he's a three-day drive away. I can't even go see him because I can't drive that far without staying overnight somewhere and exposing myself and him to this virus and other illnesses. I'd be too afraid to sleep in my car at rest stops. The thought of never seeing him again is tough.

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12
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:50pm

*Edited

oh hugs to you my friend. I understand because sometimes I get "bluesy" too, uncertain and just plain tired too.
I am so glad you posted because sometimes just saying it(or type) gets those emotions out and you now have acknowledged them but know they do not define your destiny!
My heart goes out to you because your dear daughter has some pretty important mile stones coming up. Maybe just maybe you can figure out some way to get in some of those memories. There will be other milestones to come into play as she gets on her journey.
We are all here and am thankful for your post, we are indeed feeling the toll this has taken upon us, our families and our country.
Much love to you my friend.

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16
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:54pm

@Sammee : sorry to hear about your dad. could you take a flight? flights are pretty empty anyways

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16
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:55pm

@Floyd : OMG. That made me let out a breath and think how hard it is to not be able to hug those you love. I have been texting one of my young friends at the beach. She is the sweetest and we will both be at the beach soon. I'm going to hug her if she wants and say "to heck with all this!" I am sure we will be back and forth from each house so what will a hug hurt? I can tell you I just love the way your mom thinks!

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8
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:56pm

Today has not been one of my best. I woke up at 11, had cereal and a cup of coffee. Laid down on the couch and went back to sleep.

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13 OP
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:56pm

@Sammee : I'm so sorry!!!!
See? I feel guilty for feeling this way because I know there are many people out there whose circumstances are much worse.
My mom lives lives 2-day fly away. In the beginning she wasn't serious about staying home. I scolded her, I worry that if God forbid something happens to her, they won't let me in to the country.

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12
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:57pm

*Edited

@MrsT :

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11
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 2:58pm

well that got out of hand quick

they took our jobs !

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16
~ 4 years ago Apr 21, '20 3:00pm

@Sammee : Dh stays in hotels still because there is no options. I can find out which ones have put cleanliness first but I packed him with wipes and sanitizer, etc. If I was going, I would bring my own blanket and pillow and take the covers off the bed and lysol the bed, then sleep on my own things. I feel for you so much. I went back and forth with both parents and it is hard. If there is anything I can do, please ask.

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