Walk a mile in a persons shoes they say, it's easy to judge and cast dispersions, harder to try and understand.Had a man I loved my whole life and was always kind to me one day blow up at me for no reason as I was sitting in his kitchen drinking coffee with him. His wife came flying in and asked him what he was doing and he couldn't quite explain himself. About 7 years later he was gone, Alzheimers.My Mom cared for a former neighbor who was combative with all her care takers, but for some reason remembered and loved my Mom. She would drive an hour away to care for that woman a few times a week and refused to accept a dime.I will not judge, but send my hopes that the son stays strong in these difficult circumstances.

@Damon Keep your head up! I know it’s hard to love a person that can be mean or hateful. Just remember she is sick and they can’t help it sometimes. I know first hand how difficult it can be to love someone like that. I watched my grandma to it parents and my family. In the end you should still love them because they are family.

@Damon I know I know! My son is developmentally disabled and mentally ill- the things he has said and done to my hubs and I would shock a person with a normal life.
All I can do is carry on the best I can. Thankfully he now lives in an apartment complex with others like himself- so it’s mainly verbal abuse by phone. We did therapy many years ago and it helped to “compartmentalize” the emotional responses so we could deal with the outbursts. When he rages he’s not happy unless he gets an emotional response out of us.
Please see if you can get into a support group ( can’t remember - dimentia? Altaheimers?) for you to find some coping mechanisms

@Damon

@Damon Don't let people that have no knowledge of your situation or what you go through get to you. They have no idea. I've helped with a neighbor and before that I just could not understand how that poor guy could be such a problem. Tell them to step in your shoes and don't let them get to you. Prayers for your strength.