For clarification, my previous post that I deleted at the request of HumbleGirl made no statement about the specifics of the situation. I did, however, delete it to honor her request.This situation hits very close to home for me and I am an advocate of awareness. I firmly believe that it is the best for prevention.

Losing a child is our worst nightmare as parents. This family is living their nightmare. I respect that they have to find the path through their grief that they can best manage. If they are choosing to keep private the nature of the "accident", then so be it. Some may not agree with that decision. However, that doesn't really matter since they are not the ones who will see their child being laid to rest at the age of 12. I believe as a community, we should support this family as best we can. Some are close enough to make calls on the family, take food, and run errands for them. Some of us will attend the services for them. So many have prayed or offered up the hope of their personal beliefs in healing. All of us can support them with our respect for their privacy.

I completely disagree that the circumstances are best left unsaid. This is the fifth instance of middle school aged children that I personally know of or know acquaintances of in the last 6 months. Those numbers scare the crap out of me and I wish everyone would get their heads out of the sand, schools included, and start helping parents learn more about this problem and what we can do as parents and as a community to change this trend. My hearts aches for the Banmiller family, and I am scared to death for my own. Four out of the five were boys.... While I understand why the family is not ready to discuss this at this time, I don't think the community and school should be shoving it under a rock. Who knows who might be helped just by making people aware of what is going on and providing resources for assistance rather than leaving it to the middle school gossip mill.

The family does not believe this has anything to with issues at school which is why rumors are so vicious. This was a child's prank that went horribly wrong. Truly an accident.

@iSellCode: Yes. This. Everything else is rumor mill and unfounded.

ISC - Thank you for sharing that is was a prank that went wrong.

How is it known it was truly a prank or if it was planned? There may not have been issues at school but there are so many other areas that could be influential with something like this. I guess it's just human nature when information isn't provided to fill in the blanks yourself, especially in a situation so emotionally charged as this one. It's not surprising there are many different rumors being spread.

Why do you people insist on throwing your guesses out there? Please allow this family the time they need to grieve the loss of a son they have loved and cherished for 12 beautiful years. Let's stick with supporting this family as a community thru this most difficult time!

Agreed. The kids who knew him for many years growing up where asked not to discuss, speculate, or repeat rumors they have heard, but instead to focus on praying for the family, because that is the appropriate way to show respect for the deceased. As adults, we should do the same.

Why would anyone find it unreasonable to want to know what happened to a child we've all been praying for and crying about for weeks? I've read every tearful post and watched the progress every day. I've been emotionally torn up and consumed with thinking of this family, watching, praying, as have many others. To actually ask children who knew him not to discuss his death or wonder how it happened is completely unrealistic., not to mention emotionally unhealthy. I am almost shocked this is the way the situation has been handled. As unpleasant as death is, it must be discussed. It's part of the grieving process but more importantly it is part of the healing process for everyone involved.

Everyone handles grief differently. I do not know this family but it has been noted they do not want to speak out at this time. So back it up and give them the time they need to deal with their situation. If and when they choose, they can make a statement. As a parent, you can talk to your child about the situation if you so desire. Do not expect a grieving family to worry about anything except their own well-being at this point. Give it a rest already!

What I'm trying to say is nobody can or should expect his friends and classmates, etc. not to question and wonder what happened. I understand if the family is not prepared to make any public statements. We all understand that. I cannot understand people getting upset that classmates are asking questions and talking about it though. You can't expect a child be told his/her friend is dead but shouldn't ask or wonder why. That's just not going to happen. Rumors are going to continue and it should be perfectly understandable to others why it is happening - not frowned upon as though they are doing something wrong. I do not expect the family to worry about anyone else, but it seems others are worried that the situation is being talked about. The attitude of expecting secrecy is what needs to be given a rest in my opinion, not those wanting to know what happened to their good friend.

Respect the wishes of the family. Period.

LET IT GO!

[ Removed By Request. ]