I wasn't going to comment any further on this but I feel I need to add something. I have the furthest respect for this family and don't expect ANYTHING from them. They do not OWE anyone anything. Hopefully some day when and if they're ready they'll feel they can open up and possibly help other families & children. That is all.
My main concern is with the attitude of some people here - not the family! The idea that nobody should dare speak about this child's death is completely bizarre and unreasonable. The plan to ask children at school not to ask questions is not only completely unrealistic but unhealthy (and obviously not working). There is nothing wrong with asking questions. However there IS something wrong with feeling it's ok to berate anyone who wants to talk about the situation. It's all a natural part of the grieving & healing process. The death of a young child is a traumatic experience and people need to be able to talk about it. Stop making it into something inappropriate and ugly - because it is not. People grieve in different ways, wanting to talk about a death does in no way equal disrespect and I truly resent people trying to imply as such. That is all I have to say on the subject.

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>> I completely disagree that the circumstances are best left unsaid. This is the fifth instance of middle school aged children that I personally know of or know acquaintances of in the last 6 months. Those numbers scare the crap out of me and I wish everyone would get their heads out of the sand, schools included, and start helping parents learn more about this problem and what we can do as parents and as a community to change this trend. My hearts aches for the Banmiller family, and I am scared to death for my own. Four out of the five were boys.... While I understand why the family is not ready to discuss this at this time, I don't think the community and school should be shoving it under a rock. Who knows who might be helped just by making people aware of what is going on and providing resources for assistance rather than leaving it to the middle school gossip mill. @mom69:
I agree with you . But I'm guessing 5 family's have had their lives fall apart in seconds , I mean none of us wake up in the morning thinking our day WILL END with the loss of one of our children . Given some time hopefully 1 or all of these folks will step forward & will bring attention to how their children were lost & will have SOME WISDOM to pass on to other parents .I don't think this falls under our schools umbrella to start helping parents learn more about this problem .I really doubt anyone at any of the schools is qualified to talk about this subject . I think when a teacher sees a child bullied they should stop the bulling & take the offender to the principal's office & call BOTH sets of parents . If a teacher sees a child that they think could be depressed , or perceives perhaps some type of child abuse yes they need to report to the principle & see to it the parents or proper people are notified .A teacher cannot help what happens to children when they are at home with their parents unless as I've stated it were to be some type of abuse that the teacher perceives .I agree with you that these circumstances are not best left unsaid & we all need to crawl out from under a rock .I think back to times I was out shopping & saw how very awful a child was treated in a store & wondered how that child was treated at home when all alone with this parent . So there are many subjects that people should care about , talk about ,& TAKE ACTION on by trying to bring change .No one is more vulnerable than children .