Why do we wait
Why do we wait
Why do we wait
I don't know why, but when i get news of a loss, and it hits closer to home is there a delay before you reach out? I guess it's like waiting to call after a date, some sort of code. I don't want to reach out so I don't saturate or whatever. But a friend lost her husband and she reached out to let me know. I told her I cried when I heard and cried when she reached out .. but i didn't reach out. I am riddled with guilt over that and I don't understand why I wasn't diving in. That is it.
justanirishgirl, brightlights and CarolS + 10 more reactedI don't know why, but when i get news of a loss, and it hits closer to home is there a delay before you reach out? I guess it's like waiting to call after a date, some sort of code. I don't want to reach out so I don't saturate or whatever. But a friend lost her husband and she reached out to let me know. I told her I cried when I heard and cried when she reached out .. but i didn't reach out. I am riddled with guilt over that and I don't understand why I wasn't diving in. That is it.
ginx : Do you feel guilt because you feel you should have reached out to her first?
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the hard part is when they all go away back to their normal lives.
Luckysis : This right here.ginx : Don't feel guilty. Just be there now.
ginx : Just be there when you can. Don't feel guilty. Just listen to her, you don't need to talk or answer many questions. I know, I lost my wife some years ago.
Men and women grieve differently. Either way, we are grieving.
Genesis : Awe. I am sorry you lost your wife….life is hard.
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ginx : It's ok there bud….you will know when it's time. No guilt…like others said everyone grieves differently. There is not a right or wrong way. Hugs to you. You are a good guy🫶
ginx :The fact that you cried when you heard and again when she reached out says everything about how much you care! Give yourself some grace! ❤️
Ginx:Here's my first hand opinion. When my DH was sick and we were dealing with dr's and hospice, it was a madhouse. During the funeral there were friends and family and a million things to do. Then……nothing. Total silence in the house, nobody to talk to, nobody to cook for, just nothing. That's when you NEED a friend. So, that's when you would be most appreciated. Just my experience.
CarolS : thats what I noticed as well, I learned that the Monday after the funeral is almost as bad as the day you lose them. Everyone is back at home, people go back to work.....the world keeps moving while you sit there and scream how is everyone not feeling like me. After learning about Monday, i try to keep Monday off for friends and family. Just to be there if they want it, to get breakfast or dinner...sometimes they want to be left alone...i did not.
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