This is a true story and I have always kept it on my mind.
My parents belonged to the BPOE in our town- it was the only country club. When my Dad retired my Mom especially had a hard time adjusting for the exact reasons listed.
She was at the club playing bridge and complaining about My Dad being underfoot. One lady spoke up and said " well at least you have a husband who is able to make a mess and be underfoot." Shut my Mom right up as the woman was a widow.
She told me that and I had to chuckle- my Mom was rarely without words -and I remember those words to this day.
My hubs and I have been married 37 years this year- 35 of those have been with him having a home office when he's not traveling . He's good and picks up after himself pretty well. I just go ahead and do my cleaning- if it gets messy it stays that way till I clean again. My house is as clean as it gets with dogs and cats. Not like I'm going to be entertaining a VIP. It all gets done and it isn't perfect but it's not a disaster.
You'll find a groove and both of you will adjust