1.My goal for 2016 was to lose 10 lbs .... only 15 to go. 2. Ate salad for dinner... mostly croutons & tomatoes . Really just one big , round crouton covered with tomato sauce ...& cheese . Fine , it was pizza ....I ate pizza . 3. How to prepare Tofu, Throw it in the trash ... grill some meat . 4. I just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider web . 5. I don't mean to brag , but ...I finished my 14 -day diet in 3 hrs & 20 minutes . 6. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it . 7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it . When I was young , I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpeting to change the Tv channel . 8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me . 9. Remember back when we were kids & every time it was below zero outside , they closed school ?Me neither 10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented .... I forgot where I was going with this . 11. A thief broke into my house last night . He started searching for money ,so I woke up & searched with him .12. My dentist told me I need a crown ... I was like : I know ! Right ?