@DonnieBrasco I believe in God and the power of prayer; however, personally, I don't know if everything happens for a "reason" because that makes it harder for me to reconcile some of the horrific things that happen in the world. Children murdered, lives lost due to terrorism, etc.
I do believe that life is about learning and this moment- the right now- is temporary. I try to live my life by taking the value of the moments/ situations / circumstances, because I know they will change, eventually.
The joyous/happy/exciting times I try to enjoy and cherish so that I can reflect back and perhaps, offer hope for someone else. The difficult/painful/stressful times I try to identify what can make me stronger from having experienced it. What can I learn to prevent or mitigate a future occurrence? What advice can I take and offer to someone else to help them?
Regardless of what one believes as far as "happens for a reason," I would offer that no one, regardless of faith, has to struggle alone.
There are toll free numbers for specific issues and there are resources in the community.
A couple of times I have walked into unfamiliar churches and asked to speak to someone. I didn't necessarily believe that anything would magically fix my struggle/ pain, but I needed to hear from a person of faith their take on things. I can tell you that both times I did this, I felt a relief and sense of peace that helped me get through the struggles.
Sorry you are going through your struggle, I hope you find some encouragement in getting through it. ❤️