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Advice needed.

Advice needed.

This discussion has been locked.

by: 10 OP
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:36pm

Advice needed.

My ex is in town to see our youngest DS for his birthday (next week). He came in a late this afternoon and leaves early on Sunday.

Our youngest is with him at his mom's place buuuut our oldest is here with me. He's upset that he and his brother were referred to as "my guys" in a FB post.

Did my best and he went to dinner with them tonight. Told him not to get hung up on the verbiage he used. Then he slapped me with his words "we aren't guys, we are children. His children . ".

I didn't say anything except "he loves you, misses you and wants to see you".

What can I say that is positive so he'll see him tomorrow?

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Replies:

14
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:38pm

I call my kids guys........there is something else bothering them

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13
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:43pm

Im s little confused..is the older one not there by choice? Does he want to be? Who posted the fb post?.was the oldest in the pic?

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9
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:44pm

Yeah my DH references that with my kids? Is there more to it?

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10 OP
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:44pm

@Lace
My ex posted "can't wait to see my guys tomorrow".

Our oldest doesn't want to be there.

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10 OP
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:46pm

@yomom
My ex always said "my boys".

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14
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:46pm

Dad did nothing wrong. Based off information presented. Talk.to your kiddos to.see what is.going on. Seems like they may feel abandon

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10 OP
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:47pm

@757beach
That's exactly what I think. Sadly they aren't wrong but I won't ever say that to them.

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14
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:50pm

Can you talk to your ex and explain they are a little sad.

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8
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:50pm

"he loves you, misses you and wants to see you".

@Dragonlovermom :

I think you said it well. Maybe it's time for his dad to talk to him about whats going on with him. Or maybe he just needs some time.

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10 OP
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:52pm

@757beach
I used to try but we can't talk now. It's really very sad.

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6
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:53pm

It seems like the oldest does not like the split. Has a grudge towards his father. My son was the same way. It took him a while but he was little. If your son is older this may be a difficult time and he needs someone to talk to.

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13
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:53pm

I dont have any advice..

just hugs and prayers..im sure its heartbreaking....

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11
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:53pm

Bless his little heart. The oldest feels like Dad doesn't love them as much as he used to because he called them "my guys" instead of "my boys". Oldest feels a disconnect because Dad moved so far away and is afraid that Dad will 'forget' about them over time. I'm sure the oldest has friends who he knows this has happened to and now he is scared it will/is happening to him. The oldest may be pushing Dad away now in an attempt to protect himself from being hurt later if Dad ever does 'forget' about them.

Everyone needs to sit down together and talk about it to reassure them that this won't happen.

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14
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:54pm

I feel sorry for him
. But I am afraid your son will be angry and needs time. Dad won't be able.to do anything right. But dad still has to try.

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10 OP
~ 7 years ago Jul 29, '16 8:54pm

@Luckysis
Yeah, about that.... He told them I hate that I can't live with you boys but your mom kicked me out.

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