What do you do if you've already bought gifts and then are asked "please don't buy gifts for us, money is tight this year and we cant reciprocate so I'm asking you please not to buy us any gifts."?Do you return said gifts and honor request? Do you give the gifts anyway because you couldnt care less about the return gift, you just really wanted to give some kids you love a few small things? It's a minefield I tell ya!

@HumbleGirl

I feel your pain. My sister and I used to just give each other gift cards, and cancel each other out, so we decided to forget that nonsense and just get the kids something.As far as co-worker, or neighbor gifting, I just buy a bunch of bottles of wine to have handy in gift bags, and if I end up not gifting them, I drink them. Or have gift cards handy for places that I shop at (Target, Starbucks, etc.).

@Littlegoo: I also have a stock of gift cards and wine for unexpected last minute gifts. If I don't give them away I use or drink them.

I only buy gifts for my kids and my nieces and nephews. I tell family and friends I would love to share a nice meal with them instead of exchanging gifts. I tell them this pretty far in advance, to avoid any problems. If people give me stuff anyway I just smile and thank them and figure they wanted to do it and were able to do it. My family helps me out all year long, so I don't feel like I need anything more than just to spend time with them. I can't think of really anything that I want or need.

@HumbleGirl: I feel your pain as gift giving has gotten out of hand to some degree. You used to be able to give something simple to people outside your home like a fruit basket. Now, many people expect pricey items. It seems to me a gift, if given, is merely a token or gesture of affection or friendship. So in that regard give to whom you wish and what you wish. I remember older people giving us money envelopes with a $2 bill inside. I still have fond memories of the person who gave me one. Hard as it might be try not to lose too much sleep over it.

@HumbleGirl: Any advice on this ^^ scenario? The gifts will be difficult to return (bought out of state) and were really good deals anyway. I was thinking of leaving them in the store bags (not wrapping) with tags and receipt so the mom can see I didn't spend much and then these wouldn't be a Christmas gift but just some good deals I picked up?

^^^Give the gifts anyway and impress upon the person that nothing is expected in return. The mere fact that everyone is alive to see another Christmas is present enough for you.

I got over this kind of garbage several years ago. Christmas was so stressful because of all the reasons listed here! I buy what I want for whom I want and I don't worry about someone getting me/us a gift that wasn't reciprocated. I figured that I have never, ever been butt-hurt over giving someone a gift and not getting one in return my entire life, so I just made the decision to assume that everyone else feels the same. lol There are those "few" friends/family members who are in it for the gifts, but I would say 98% of the people in my life enjoy giving more than receiving, including myself (and 2/3 of my kids! I'm working on the other one )! Letting go of this silly reason to stress over the holidays (because really...there are way too many other reasons!) was so freeing!

We just buy for the kids in the both families. Which is a lot less stressful. But sometimes i get an unexpected gift or give one to someone who i normally don't. But i never expect a gift in return and I think most people i spend time with feel the same. But i sometimes keep pumpkin bread in the freezer. It is a quick saran wrap and bow type of gift that can be given at the last minute.

I am a fan of Christmas... it's Baby Jesus' birthday... everything else is secondary.

[ Removed By Request. ]

^^^ I agree. My parents said they would rather be more creative than give me a gift card, but I am the best shopper for myself. It is kind of dumb because we just end up giving each other gift cards, and cancel each other out. I don't get it, but oh well.DH's parents just write us a generous check each year, which is very much appreciated.I too am one of those people who appreciate any gift, and definitely do not expect anything in return when I give a gift.

Mr. Charli & I decided early on 3 gifts for Christmas, 3 gifts for birthday...good enough for Christ, good enough for our kids and their cousins. My wonderful in-laws have the love language of gift giving. With 2 kids, we came home with sacks full of stuff. Talk about holiday stress! And all self-imposed! Our church sponsored a study using Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages. Now holidays are easier. I buy gifts for that person with no guilt of price matching or my limited budget. And able to lovingly accept inlaws' sacks of gifts.